Why Does the Wind Blow?
Wind blows because of clouds. Clouds are big, gaseous blobs of
churning air whose sole function is to make and break wind, not
unlike the results of serving Mexican food at an all-male nursing
home. The leading edge of a cloud front is known as the blowing
edge. The trailing edge is known as the sucking edge.
Clouds suck up air from the sucking edge and blow it out their
blowing edge like giant Hoover vacuum cleaners. The puffy white
cotton candy part of the clouds is the filtration system, which
is why parts of some clouds are dark while some other clouds are
entirely black and gray. It is time to clean those clouds.
In severe weather fronts, tornadoes may form on the sucking edge
while gale force winds may be felt on the blowing edge. Air needs
to move around the Earth otherwise we will have stagnation, drought
and smog that will not go away. It's a good thing we have clouds
to move the air around like giant leaf blowers, otherwise we would
be stuck breathing in our own filth and flatulence day after day.