Babies come from paramecia and paramecia come from
the Petri dish. Another great dish besides Petri is the tuna casserole.
So, in effect, babies come from tuna casserole. But that's not all.
For the low, low price of $39.95 you not only get the tuna casserole
starter kit, but the Shred-O-Matic for making Julian Lennon fries,
and the GuessWho knives created by serial killers for serial killers.
As an added bonus for reading this, we will throw
in a year's supply of reading glasses, laser eye surgery, and 1200
lbs of potatoes. If that's not enough we will mow your lawn, take
out your garbage and inseminate your wife so that you may have another
tuna casserole special within the next 9 months. Call now! Smooth
operators are waiting.
Of course, there is another alternative theory that also answers
the question of "where do babies come from"? According
to the Turnpike Beginnigus Theory, all babies come from New Jersey.
Once thought of as perhaps the "Armpit of the United States",
New Jersey is actually more clearly related to another part of the
In fact, since the Turnpike Beginnigus Theory was first proposed,
not only is it stated that New Jersey is responsible for where babies
come from but also it is the origin of the Big Bang as well, creating
the universe in one blinding flash of mass and light, dark and fire,
good, evil and mediocrity scattered about the far reaches of space.
Of course, this theory is not as widely held as babies originating
from New Jersey. In fact, some say it is quite far fetched.