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Where Did Civilization Begin?

Civilization began in Newark, New Jersey in approximately 6000 B. C. with the invention of the one-finger wave, the "F" word and the lip-smacking "raspberry." The fabled Cradles Of Civilization with their modern stone age families from the town of Bedrock could not hold a candle to the forms of non-verbal communication perpetrated by the native Newarkians.

 

 

 

Sure, the fortress of Machu Pikachu was impressive for its day. So were the pyramid schemes of Giza. But it was the attitude of the Newarkian that defined the culture and said to the rest of the uncivilized world, "You ain't nothing. I'm better than you."

A civilization is defined as complex, highly organized social order and includes a well-organized government, social classes, job specialization, public works, art and architecture and writing. Well, Newark had none of this, but they did know how to "flip the bird," "read between the lines," "do the groin tug," "do the moon," "thumb the nose" and the "forearm jerk" which makes up for the other signs of civilization.

It has been said many times that the clearest sign of social order is anti-social behavior. Newark has been the premier example of this kind of behavior.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 


 

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